A second-hand existence…

A call from Maruti Suzuki today, and various other such calls that I have received over the last few months prompted me to write this post. Before you roll your eyes or even raise an eyebrow, no, this isn’t one of those posts complaining about telemarketing. And no, this has nothing to do with Maruti, the new A-star or any other addition to their extensive (or so they claim) 12-model lineup either. So then, what is this about?

The call I got was for Mr. Jack, a relative whose number (thanks to my profound laziness) I have been using since the last 8 months. So, every day I am either subjected to phone calls selling me things I don’t need or reminding me to give for servicing things that I don’t own (Mr. Jack’s Maruti Esteem, for example). I’ve even had some calls inviting me to conferences and offering me jobs in SQL, SAS and other such assorted acronyms.

“So what? Just change your number! Don’t sit and whine about this also now”, you say. Yeah ok, I’ll get a new number. Duly noted. But then, what this got me thinking about is the way we live. The very second-hand nature of our existence. My existence. An existence that isn’t real, a shielded existence, almost like I’m living in a bubble, floating on a cloud. Barely able to touch what I am really affected by.

I just sit there and watch while what I’ve grown up around and what represents to me the city I’ve grown up in is destroyed, vandalized and raped. Asking,”Yaar, what’s the latest on the Taj?” The reporter shouts into my ear the latest on the issue. That’s his version. I don’t know whether it’s the truth. I don’t know whether what I’m receiving is the truth. I go about my job. And when I get back home, I just sit there. Useless, effete, a napunsak. I can’t do anything about it.

This is what we all will keep feeling till we keep living this second-hand life. Until and unless we start doing something…

In Mumbai! Going back to work-home tomorrow though :(

So, the company gave us two days' holiday (Sunday included) and so we rushed to Mumbai, and guess what, parents are here too. Okok, I know I am big now and all, and that parents shouldn't be such a big deal to me now. But, they are. Nice little angels that they are. They support you when you really need them (if you know what I mean, and its Diwali even!)

There is this list of things that I have jotted down to write about, but you know how lazy I am. I just can't seem to get to write about them. Those topics are reserved for later, maybe, when I am really vella (go ask a north indian if ur really that uncosmopolitan!) and have me-time. Right now, its just so chaotic, with parents and cousins and uncles and aunts. And DIWALI! O my God! Diwali is an amazing festival! Yay!

Btw, work-home means temporary home in the city(?) I work in.

PS: Yeah, I know I sound really happy and on drugs, but don't worry the glum seriousness will return to this blog soon (will it?)

PPS: Do you know of that Mininster's son who was accused of raping German girl? We live frightfully close to that Minister's residence.

Short little, bored in office post

Another day in office. Been here since an hour now. And I have done nothing. Yes. Nothing. Zilch. Zero. Shunya. That's how much. Nothing. Not like there isn't a lot to do. But then, I figure, why should I do something I don't like?

You know what? I should have really taken up that job closer home. So what if it was giving me a little less money. At least I would be doing something that is vaguely near to what I really want to do in life. Come to think of it, do I really even know what I really want to do in life? I guess I don't. Maybe that is why I did not take up that job. Because I figured,"Well, what if I get bored of this too after some time? Then there's no turning back." 'Coz, boss, I just can't keep shrinking my pay by so much, no?

Anyways, yesterday I was reading this gorgeous blog. Read it here: http://bombaychronicles.blogspot.com/

Man, she is living the life I want to live! I kid you not! 

And this last post... http://bombaychronicles.blogspot.com/2008/10/with-reference-to-few-posts-back-and.html. I can so relate to it! Really. Read it.

That feeling of disquiet at the pit of my stomach

So, one more visit to HR. Makes you feel like the floor of your stomach has given way and there is a large vacuum now where your stomach used to be. That doesn't even begin to describe how I am feeling right now. Sometimes I think,"Why do I put myself through this? Is all the money I am earning really worth this daily torture that I am going through?" The answer that comes out is,"I don't know! Maybe it is the wont of every fresher to struggle like this before he finds ultimately what he is looking for. A job that he enjoys. Or is there no such thing? Is 'fun-job' a paradox in itself? These are the questions that one keeps wanting answers to. But, I guess these questions will be answered only through experience, right in the end, when there would not be any use for the answers and I would throw them away like a housewife gives away old junk. Or maybe, I can sell them! Like the housewife does! Yeah, maybe I could then take these answers, make them into a book / training programme / website and earn money out of it!

But, we digress. In the end I think what they say is true. Numerous elders have been consulted, books have been read and conversations have been held. They all say the same thing,"One should enjoy whatever work one gets." But, you know what? Over here, even that is not possible. Because there is no work to do! "So what?", people say. "Enjoy doing nothing! Put in your mandatory hours and then be off to do what your heart pines for... After all, you are living in a place which people die to go visit! And, a few months ago, even you wanted to visit this place. And now that you're there, you are crying that you don't enjoy it."

So yeah, I could go on and on and on like this and still not find a satisfying answer. So, its best to stop! But its good to blog. Blogging is such a big release! There's something about writing it all down that makes the bottomless pit go away. And yeah, I know I should be grateful to have a job in such bad times and all that. So, guess for now the plan is to stick to this job and keep looking whether there is something out there that is exciting enough and pays money to match the current job. Amen to that! Hope we get through to better jobs!

A day in the life of......who else? Me....

So well, another day today. Came to work, made a presentation, met a minister.... Yeah! Today we met a minister! Imagine! We were at the residence of the Home Minister of one of India's western states. So, yeah meeting a Minister, going to his place, speaking to him, shaking hands with him, you'd think its not so big. And you're right. It isn't. It was a HUGE letdown! Its like meeting any other person, only you don't understand what this one is mumbling (hehe..)

And yeah, did I tell you what I did yesterday? I had my extremely belated birthday party at this cool place in town. Well, yeah, it set us back a bit (actually, quite a lot) in terms of money, but it was good fun.

Musings for the day: Sometimes I think, why do people work? To earn a living, right? But why should one earn a living? Is money necessary beyond a point? Shouldn't we all just go back to depending on our parents? Well, yeah, I know what you'll say. Another rich spoilt kid. Yeah, so? I don't care what you think. All I know is that I'm not one of those rich spoilt kids and I still feel that way. Wonder what the really rich spoilt kids would be feeling when thrown into the real world. Maybe they would be coping better. Because, unlike middle-class kids (like moi), they wouldn't have delusions of being able to handle the big bad world on their own...

Hello Blog!

So, here I am, blogging for the first time. I have been postponing this since a long, long time. People tell me I should've started this a century ago. But, what is the point of starting something that you cannnot maintain? Or continuously update? But then, I figured, that blogging would be a release. An outlet for whatever is happening to me presented to this wide-open cyberworld to satisfy their urge for easy voyeuristic pleasures.

Remember how when we were kids, our English teacher used to tell us to maintain a daily diary? Did you ever get down to actually doing that? I always wanted to, but never did. Maybe this is a way to do that. Only difference is that it is for an audience.

Anyways, enough for the first post. Hope this blog prospers, flourishes and makes me a world-renowned writer one day! Amen to that!